Back to Beit Sefer (school)...

i'm a little nervous about this year, especially since it's my last at Rochester. it's going to be a tough one. i have my work cut out for me. i went back and forth on whether or not to relist my degree as a BA with a double concentration. the BS degree is a full 9 additional courses and will require i seriously hustle to fit everything in by May. but i've decided to stick to my original goal rather than lower my expectations. i think of it as running some kind of track relay - and how you get really tired preceding the last lap and you begin to contemplate just slowing down. you reassess whether winning matters and you have to make a choice. you either commit to the optimism you had before you started and ignore the phlegm that choking you, the calves that burn, and wheeze that tallies each breath OR you revise your goal and try to rationalize disqualification. experience has taught me that even though i fatigue easily and don't really have a winner's physiology, when i set a goal, i usually attain it unless i get in my own way. so, i'm sure i'll revisit this decision again and again throughout the year, but i'm going to do my best to finish a dual degree program: a BA in linguistics and a BS in BCS. there really isn't any advantage to doing it. it won't really make a difference in grad school or employment. the only difference it will make is whether i look back on this undertaking and feel i really achieved what i set out to or came satisfactorily close. understandably, i tend to set ridiculously high goals for myself, but that's what's been so exciting - looking at seemingly impossible things - israel being the most recent - and robbing them of their impossibility.

at this point, very little seems to be cooperating - i won't get into it, but it's not merely uphill right now. what was a steep hike has graduated to full-on rockclimbing.

wish me luck - and understand if you don't hear much from me or if when you do i'm a miserable bastard. i still love you.